How do you balance being a parent, a professional, and your own person without one overpowering the others?
Victoria Rebellato
General Manager at Family Law Education Network
The short answer: I’m still figuring it out.
With a four-year-old and a ten-month-old at home, it’s very challenging, and I don't think anyone truly has the balance sorted. But there are a few things that have helped me along the way.
The first is boundaries. Inevitably, parents need to work with some flexibility to fit around daycare and school hours. Early on, I found myself squeezing in extra work during naps, after bedtime, whenever I could grab a moment. Even when I genuinely enjoy the work, doing this constantly leads to burnout because you’re either parenting, which is exhausting in its own right, or working, and there is no time left that belongs to you. Now that I’m back from maternity leave working part-time, I have set specific windows for logging on, and specific days where I stay off my computer completely. Having those lines has helped me feel a bit more balanced.
The second is the transition between work and parenting. Running straight from your desk to daycare pickup, feeling guilty for running late, and then walking straight into the evening shift with the kids is a recipe for more overwhelm. Add in the inevitable tantrums (from both me and the toddler) and it’s a disaster. I have started building in a small ritual before I leave for pick-up: I change my top and make a cup of tea in a keep-cup. It only takes 10 minutes, but it makes a huge difference to my headspace before I get the kids.
The third is accepting that half in, half out rarely works with little ones. If I try to answer emails or messages while playing Lego with my son, he gets frustrated and I feel guilty. Instead, I carve out a proper window, often while the baby naps, where he watches a couple of episodes of Bluey (don’t judge me) and I check emails, so that when we are together, I am actually present.
As for being your own person, that is the part I'm still working on. At the moment it looks like my Kindle, a cup of tea, and maybe a biscuit before bed. It’s not glamorous, but it works for me. And look, if you want to add exercising regularly, eating well, drinking enough water, being fully present with the kids, ensuring they eat three nutritious meals a day, being a good friend, and somehow still being a switched-on lawyer to that list, sure, I will get right on it, probably somewhere between the Wednesday nap and never.
Gabriella Pomare
Partner at The Norton Law Group
I don’t think I have ever perfectly “balanced” being a parent, a lawyer and my own person. For me, it has been more about accepting that different parts of my life will need more of me in different seasons and making sure no part disappears completely.
When my son was very young, I was navigating separation, co-parenting and building my career. At that stage, survival counted as success. Some nights dinner was whatever I could pull together quickly, emails were answered after bedtime, and the goal was simply to get through the week with everyone reasonably okay.
Now I have an almost six-year-old, a toddler, a busy family law practice, a podcast and two books, so the juggle looks different — but it is still a juggle. What helps me most is being realistic about what actually matters. I try to be completely present in the moments that count: school drop-off, bedtime, a conversation in the car or sitting on the floor with my children, even if it is only for 20 uninterrupted minutes.
I have also learned to stop treating rest, friendships, exercise or creativity as rewards I earn after completing everything else. There will always be another client email, load of washing or task on the list. Sometimes being my own person means recording a podcast, writing, having an oat latte alone or saying no to something that would push me past capacity.
My practical advice is to build support, lower the standards that do not matter and stop measuring a good parent by how much they sacrifice. Your children do not need a perfect parent. They need a parent who is present, supported and still recognises themselves.
Chase Leal
Principal Account Executive at VXT
For me, balance is about deciding what needs my attention the most at that given moment. Sometimes, it's holding my infant for 10 minutes between meetings so my partner can wash her face and heat up some food. Other times it's needing to hyper-focus on a time-critical email that helps me support my family as a single-income household.
Becoming a dad has made me much more protective of my time. There will always be more work to do, but there won’t always be a tiny baby at home. Today, for instance, I could've easily fired off an email in three minutes after a meeting, but our daughter rolled from her tummy to her back for the first time right in front of me. I paused, was present for that beautiful moment, and still got the email out within 15 minutes of the call ending.
Weirdly, having less time has probably made me better at work too. I’m more focused and less interested in doing too much of anything that doesn't directly help my team win. The only time I fluff around now, is when I'm being a court-jester to my daughter, singing and dancing between meetings just to see her smile. Having flexibility with this time at work has been massive, too. Six months paid parental leave, trust from your manager, and knowing you can deal with something at home without feeling like you’re hurting your career, have all been worth a lot.
On being your own person, I think both parents need to keep some part of their old identity. You can love being a parent and still want time for hobbies, friends, exercise and work. We're still sorting out how to do these things with this newfound level of tiredness. It's a struggle, but we're slowly getting better at this.
Overall, I’m still ambitious, but the reason behind work feels different now. Security, flexibility and having time with my family matter a lot more than they used to. The main thing is accepting that balance doesn’t have to exist every single day.